From 8fa80ca43155344af153093ed773550d680aa69f Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Carsten Bormann <cabo@tzi.org>
Date: Sat, 22 Jul 2023 14:11:17 +0200
Subject: [PATCH] Cherry-pick from #13

---
 draft-ietf-core-target-attr.md | 31 ++++++++++++++++---------------
 1 file changed, 16 insertions(+), 15 deletions(-)

diff --git a/draft-ietf-core-target-attr.md b/draft-ietf-core-target-attr.md
index 6056917..89fe107 100644
--- a/draft-ietf-core-target-attr.md
+++ b/draft-ietf-core-target-attr.md
@@ -59,16 +59,16 @@ informative:
 The Constrained RESTful Environments (CoRE) specifications apply Web
 technologies to constrained environments.
 One important such technology is Web Linking (RFC 8288), which CoRE
-uses as the basis for a number of discovery protocols, such as the
+specifications use as the basis for a number of discovery protocols, such as the
 Link Format (RFC 6690) in CoAP's Resource Discovery Protocol (Section 7.2
-of RFC7252) and the Resource Directory (RFC 9176).
+of RFC7252) and the Resource Directory (RD, RFC 9176).
 
 Web Links can have target attributes, the names of which are not
 generally coordinated by the Web Linking specification (Section 2.2 of
 RFC 8288).
 This document introduces an IANA registry for coordinating names of target
-attributes when used in Constrained RESTful Environments.
-It updates the RD Parameters Registry of RFC 9176 to coordinate with
+attributes when used in CoRE.
+It updates the RD Parameters IANA Registry created by RFC 9176 to coordinate with
 this registry.
 
 --- middle
@@ -80,7 +80,7 @@ Introduction        {#intro}
 The Constrained RESTful Environments (CoRE) specifications apply Web
 technologies to constrained environments.
 One important such technology is Web Linking {{-linking}}, which CoRE
-uses as the basis for a number of discovery protocols, such as the
+specifications use as the basis for a number of discovery protocols, such as the
 Link Format {{-link-format}} in CoAP's Resource Discovery Protocol ({{Section 7.2
 of -coap}}) and the Resource Directory {{-rd}}.
 
@@ -98,9 +98,9 @@ The current revision of that specification clarifies ({{Section 2.2 of -linking}
    registries of target attributes.
 
 This document introduces an IANA registry for coordinating names of target
-attributes when used in Constrained RESTful Environments, with
-specific instructions for the designated expert for this registry ({{de-instructions}}).
-It updates the RD Parameters Registry of {{-rd}} to coordinate with
+attributes when used in CoRE, with
+specific instructions for the Designated Expert for this registry ({{de-instructions}}).
+It updates the RD Parameters IANA Registry created by {{-rd}} to coordinate with
 this registry.
 
 With a registry now available, registration of target attributes is strongly encouraged.
@@ -115,8 +115,8 @@ Terminology
 IANA Considerations
 ===================
 
-This specification defines a new Target Attributes sub-registry in
-the CoRE Parameters registry {{!IANA.core-parameters}}, with the policy
+This specification creates a new Target Attributes registry in
+the "Constrained RESTful Environments (CoRE) Parameters" registry group {{!IANA.core-parameters}}, with the policy
 "Expert Review" ({{Section 4.5 of -ianacons}}).
 
 ## Instructions for the Designated Expert {#de-instructions}
@@ -162,7 +162,7 @@ Brief description:
 : a brief description
 
 Change Controller:
-: (see {{Section 2.3 of -ianacons}})
+: see {{Section 2.3 of -ianacons}}
 
 Reference:
 : a reference document that provides a description of the target
@@ -171,7 +171,7 @@ Reference:
 
 ## Initial Entries
 
-Initial entries in this sub-registry are as listed in {{pre-reg}}:
+Initial entries in this registry are listed in {{pre-reg}}.
 
 | Attribute Name | Brief description                              | Change Controller | Reference                  |
 | href           | reserved (not useful as target attribute name) | IESG              | {{RFC6690}}                  |
@@ -200,9 +200,10 @@ links other than target attributes.
 A further set of target attributes is predefined in {{-linking}} and is
 imported into this registry.
 
-{{Section 9.3 of RFC9176}} defines the RD Parameters sub-registry.
-The present document updates this registry with a note that all
-entries with the "A" flag set MUST also get registered over here.
+{{Section 9.3 of RFC9176}} created the "RD Parameters" IANA registry.
+This document requests IANA to add the following note to that registry:
+
+> Note: All entries with the "A" flag set, including new ones, MUST also be registered in the "Target Attributes" registry {{!IANA.core-parameters}}.
 
 Security considerations
 =======================