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Today we will talk about:
- Stress
- Boundaries
That's it, let's get started!
Stress is a physiological and psychological response to external stimuli that exceeds our ability to cope.
- 🧠 Mental
- pressure, conflicts
- perfectionism, self-doubt, procrastination, overcommitment
- 🏋️♀️ Physical
- long hours
- lack of sleep
- over-training
- 🌐 Environmental
- noise
- distractions
... and that's only the tip of the iceberg
- Disproportionate Stress Response:
Stress that affects the body is usually not adequate to the situation - Lack of Boundaries:
We don't set boundaries for ourselves and others - Lack of Coping Skills:
We don't have the skills to deal with stress (no one learned us) - High-Stakes Environment
Risk of big losses amplifies stress
Body's extreme reactions as if every stressor is a life-or-death situation
All depends on your first experience of the similar situation.
After that, your brain will always react the same way. It can be changed, but it's not easy.
Step by step
- Immediate Reaction (100 ms)
- Release of Hormones (500 ms)
- Activation of the Nervous System
- Rationalizing the "Feelings" based on what which hormones are released (few seconds)
Basically, it works like Publish-Subscribe Pattern.
Or let's name it more accurately...
The importance of voluntarily putting yourself in challenging situations.
Prepare your nervous system for new challenges but in a controlled environment.
Otherwise, your animal brain will take over, and you will be in a constant stress response.
Setting boundaries is crucial for mental health and well-being. Boundaries help to:
- Prevent burnout
- Enable work-life balance
- Foster healthy relationships
- Reduced productivity
- Emotional exhaustion
- Strained relationships
- Internal Integrity
- Healthier Relationships
- Increased Productivity
- Overextension causes stress
- Agreeing to everything satisfies everyone except you
- You are not responsible for someone else's feelings
- Don't be afraid to say "no"
- People will respect you more for setting boundaries
- Healthy boundaries are a sign of self-respect
- Setting boundaries is a skill that can be learned
- X is not a priority for me right now
- Avoiding conflict is not a solution
-
Types of Boundaries
- Time ⏰
- Emotional 😢
- Physical 🚧
-
Implementation
- Actionable steps 📝
- Constantly monitor yourself and your body posture
- Once you notice hormones in control, take action
- Irrational thoughts cause you to overreact
- Rationalization enforces the stress response
Actionable steps:
- Calm down your animal brain
- Realize there is no danger (most of the time)
- Rationalize the situation again
- Ready to take action 🚀
- Repeat
If previous steps don't work:
- Mindfulness and relaxation techniques
- Time management (the key word is discipline)
- Seek professional help if needed
"If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry.
If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever."
- Practice makes perfect, it's a skill that can be learned
- Each next time you will be able to react better
- ... and calm down your animal brain faster
You can’t change how someone feels.
You can influence their emotions - for the better or worse but ultimately,
they decide their emotions and behaviour.
Take care of yourself first.
